In my corner of the world today, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and daffodils are blooming in abundance throughout the village. A glorious backdrop for World Poetry Day, one which evokes images of Wordsworth’s wandering cloud, and perfectly sums up the hope which Spring always brings me. Hope is one of the themes underlying a poem I wrote, which Peter Coyle has used as the lyrics for his beautiful single The Year After You. Here is the poem as I originally wrote it.
The Year After You
You left on a Sunday, a day reserved for best.
That’s what was stolen from me as you took your last rest.
Wailing and sobbing, but feeling oh so numb,
Repeatedly asking how it had come to this meaningless, empty life without you.
No longer caring if I made it through
To the next day or even the next hour.
Sweetness and light turned sullen and sour.
I was smashed and broken when your birthday came and went,
Searching for a sign, something you had sent
To let me know you were still around.
There was nothing.
An overwhelming void where you should have been.
It wasn’t fair. How could this have happened? What did it all mean?
No answers came, only platitudes empty of sense.
If time’s a good healer, the wait would be immense.
Cut to the core, my wound is soul deep.
Waking only to fill the gaps between sleep,
When I’m with you again, seeing you smile,
Hearing your voice for just a little while.
But those times become fewer and despite what they seem,
Reality hits: You can’t cuddle a dream.
Shutting out the world (It’s a scary place without you)
Or wanting to punch everyone in it.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have you back for only a minute.
I know it can’t happen, but the notion beats reality.
A coping mechanism, saving me from insanity.
Then, slowly, like a new-born lamb finding its feet,
Shakily, unsteady, I venture from my retreat.
Life’s ride is still running, a gift there for the taking,
Even if the effort seems hardly worth making.
I vowed to keep good memories. How could I forget?
I promised you I’d be happy. That hasn’t happened yet,
But I’m starting to think one day it might.
The future bodes less daunting, less dismal, if not quite bright.
So, I sit listening to the songs we once shared together.
Moments of bliss, they will last in my heart, today, tomorrow, forever.
You will be with me always, that much I know to be true,
As I stumble along in the year after you.